ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
