after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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