you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
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