Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
