It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
