You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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