I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
