Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
