so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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