I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
