im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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