i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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