I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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