we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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