i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
