I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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