drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
