are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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