Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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