apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
