Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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