so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
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