He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We're too hungover to prance.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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