then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
that's an acceptable place to lick
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
we're so committed to being not committed
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
