I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
