from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just cropdusted the office
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
