Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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