Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
