take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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