oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
