physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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