is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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