Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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