Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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