there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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