I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
