pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
