real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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