absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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