I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
