You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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