watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
