I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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