I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
