If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
