she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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