I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
