You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
