I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Who died my cat blue again?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
