I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
