It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
