I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
