Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
